A Flood of Moonlight
by TreeStar
Summary: Set ten years ago. Kuina made a promise that she would never be allowed to keep. She just just another nameless girl in history, until a boy named Zoro saw her for what she truly was. Deathfic. Not AU.


--This story has lots of irony and symbolism if you're bored and care to look for it. Based on an amazing drawing I saw of a girl laying on the hall the floor after taking a fall, her unseeing eyes focused on a full moon just outside the window.

--The style in which I chose to write this is intentional. Sentence fragments are very decisive and purposeful along with my character references and narrative standpoint. I use them intentionally because I feel that it gives the peace more power as an art form. It is a new style for me, so if the piece grabs you, please tell me what you think.

--written by Teresa Starr Ruark--

**A Flood of Moonlight**

Moonlight shone through the window, bathing the hall with light. A figure lay in the hall on her back facing it, it's ghostly luminescence the only thing she could sense anymore. The pale moon floated in the endless sky, eternally drifting as a constant reminder of a dream, its bright fullness forever out of reach. The sounds she so wanted to hear had left her, and it was silent.

_It's true, then… Your whole life can flash before your eyes in an instant. For most people, I guess that instant is like an eternity. It's surprising. Somehow I expected more. Not every event in its irrelevancy, but everything that was me after the moment my life became my own. And I can see all of that, just… somehow I expected more. I'm going to be great. I can't be finished, yet. There was just so little of my life that was mine. I wonder, though… if today hadn't happened, would I be seeing anything?_

_Today… _

-------

--Three days ago--

The midmorning sun was shining brightly through the trees in front of the dojo. On the porch, a girl about age twelve sat against a support beam, reading a book. Birds sang. Behind the house, the steady kiyai of deshi training rang through the air clear and strong, but being in the front yard dimmed their noise to an echo of it's true volume. A breeze blew through the branches overhead. It was peaceful.

"KUINA!" a young green-haired boy with a shinai in each hand bolted into the yard looking furious. Charging up to the girl on the porch, he pointed his blunt weapon at her in a threatening manner while growling ferociously, "FIGHT ME!"

The girl turned the page of her book, completely unfazed by this wildly dramatic entrance. "Yeah. Tomorrow, kay?"

"NOW!" the boy shouted insistently, shoulders heaving as he struggled to catch his breath from his run without looking like he actually needed to.

Knowing the boy wouldn't go away so easily, the girl's face fell into a scowl, "Mou! I have to get my studies done this afternoon! I have more responsibilities that I have to see to than making sure I get in my training, Zoro! And so do you!"

The boy started at this as a bead of sweat ran down his face.

The girl sighed, "You just don't get it do you? I have to keep up with my studies. It's important to my father that I do this."

The girl grew quiet. She had never looked up from her book. Zoro slowly lowered his weapons almost to the grass, and then, "GRRR FINE!" The weapons were waved haphazardly around him as he raged to himself and turned his back to the girl. "Women! Things like studies and cooking and sewing are so great… I do get it!"

The girl stopped reading, but did not rise to the bait. Seeing that his efforts had failed, and that he had _lost_ to this girl _again,_ Zoro huffed and stomped out of the yard with as much flamboyant pride as an ten year old who'd just been shut down could. "FINE!" he shouted again, "READ!" and he was gone.

The girl waited until Zoro was surely out of sight before raising her eyes to look after him. _So free. Always training. He can devote all his time to whatever he wants. Nothing to tie him down. _

She set her book down beside her and rested her head against the pillar supporting her. _Zoro can be whatever he wants. He can be himself… because he's a boy…_

_--Zoro's getting stronger. I'm proud of him. I hope that someday he will be willing to be my heir. I can't leave the dojo to Kuina.-- _

Above her, tiny birds took off together and flew over the wall and out of sight, leaving her behind… until she couldn't hear them anymore. _He'll see the world some day. He'll fight the greatest out there… someday._

With the birds gone, the girl's attention was drawn to the sounds of her father training deshi behind the dojo. The sounds of kiyai and of bokken striking each other rang through the morning air. She hugged her knees. Something inside her stirred. A calling beyond what she could ever possibly describe in words. Her hands tensed… and relaxed. Her chin dropped to her knees.

_--I wish it were different, I know she wants to be the greatest swordsman in the world…-- _

Her father was to fight the sensei from the neighboring dojo that day. She knew when it started. The sounds of the duel broke out, and she closed her eyes, and could see it. Weapon upon weapon, clashing loudly, blade against blade, faster than the eye could see, a flash of silver slicing the air in a perfect arc… and then it was silent.

_--…But the world's strongest user of kenpo can never be a woman. It's impossible for a woman to be the greatest.-- _

She looked down at the book still laying beside her. She pressed her forehead against her knees, and didn't cry.

---------

"How did your studies go today, Kuina?" her father asked her after dinner.

She felt dispirited at the question, but answered calmly, "Well, Father. I finished my book this afternoon."

The man smiled, "Good! That's good."

Seeing that her father's spirits were high, her own rose slightly, "And Zoro came by this morning, wanting another duel."

Her father smiled fondly at her rolled her eyes and said, "Kuina, he wants so badly to defeat you. You're his goal. That will be something you can tell people about years down the road, because Zoro will be great some day." No longer focusing on his daughter, the girl's father seemed to be looking into a future world now, "Because he trains every day. He may not yet understand that he's done it, but his mindset is perfect. He's devoted his life to his sword as only a true swordsman can. That is why, to a swordsman, the word "katana" and "inochi" can share the same single kanji. Their meanings are interchangeable. His sword and his life are one in the same. And everyone will know his name."

When her father said nothing else, the girl rose and walked upstairs in the silent dark. Upon turning the corner, she was bathed in a flood of moonlight pouring from the large window at the end of the hall. She looked at her skin, so ghostly pale in the white moonlight. She walked to the window and looked up at the bright orb in the sky, floating just out of reach. Like a dream. Or some brilliant, unreachable goal. In two days she would be full, shining her brightest at the peak of her time.

----------

Zoro dropped both of his Shinai and fell to the ground with a shout.

"Two-thousandth match, win to Kuina." the girl standing over him victoriously said with a touch of arrogant pride.

"Dammit!" the boy screamed and punched the ground with his fist. "Next time, I'll defeat you so badly you'll be in tears!"

The girl's smirk turned into a bored frown, "Didn't you make the same threat two days ago?"

"Kuina."

The girl turned her attention toward the dojo upon hearing the summons. Her father was standing in the door frame watching both she and Zoro with a slightly sad expression. "Hai?"

The man was silent for a moment as he simply held eye contact with his twelve year old daughter. "That's enough for today, Zoro. Kuina, may I speak with you?"

Without waiting for an answer, the boy's sensei turned and stepped softly through the doorway. The girl took heed of the signal and quietly followed him.

Zoro looked puzzled, but gathered his swords and took off in the direction of the river without question.

Inside the dojo, sensei walked around a table and sat down on a tatami. The girl did the same on the other side and waited for her father to speak.

"Kuina, I'm very proud of you. You have been growing into more and more of a beautiful young woman over these last few months."

The girl kept her eyes focused on her father, her face showing nothing.

"Very soon the time will be coming for you to choose a husband. I know you are young, but your future will be here before you know it, and the time is quickly coming for you to begin preparing for it."

The girl's hands clenched against her gi at her knees. She had feared this talk for some time now.

"I have seen you train every day since you were a little girl. I know that you are strong, and I understand your devotion. You love swordsmanship, but the unfortunate truth of this world is that swords are recognized and the weapons of men. There is no place for a women among swordsmen."

The man was silent, but his daughter said nothing, her gaze fixed now on a point behind him.

"You don't have to stop completely right now. If you are challenged, I know you must accept it. But your focus needs to move toward your future as a woman." he watched her for any sign of reaction. "Kuina, Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

The girl did not move. Her face was slightly pale. She gave no answer.

"Kuina?"

A slightly sad expression faded into the girl's eyes as she sat silently. After a long moment… her head bowed, concealing her face. Her eyes closed, resigned to her sorrow. "Hai."

---------

That evening after dinner, the girl walked up the stairs into the hall once again to be flooded with moonlight. Again she walked to the window and looked up at it's source. And again the beautiful light the feminine sphere radiated was pale and cold, and her brightness brought no warmth to the girl's body. To the girl, the bright light seemed farther away from her that night than it had ever been, mocking her from its position. Constantly changing, she moved in total freedom through the open expanse of sky. In the end, it's light would move forward and leave her behind.

Just like everything else.

---------

"This is the last time I will ever challenge you! The 2001st duel."

The sudden proclamation took the girl by surprise. She turned to look at Zoro who was standing before her, disarmed. "Really, now? Where are your weapons?"

The boy met her gaze with his own sharp stare in challenge. She didn't want to take him seriously. Accepting a challenge was the only circumstance under which she could still fight. A feeling of dread bubbled up in her chest.

"Not now," the boy stated in a clear tone, "Tonight. In the clearing near the river. It will be our deciding fight, so no Shinai. Real katana."

And she knew he meant it. His personal code would not allow him to back down or swallow such an issued challenge, so he would not have set such serious terms unless he was sure. A real challenge with true blades. The fighter in her was excited that she had made it to this point. Her fire could not refuse a challenge. …But it burned dim with the acknowledgement that, no matter the outcome, she would lose. "Tonight."

--------

Like all things that one anticipates with a heart full of dread and sorrow, the duel two-thousand-and-first battle was finished all to quickly, the victor unchanged. When Zoro fell to the earth under her attack, the girl pinned her sword into the earth beside his head, the hilt jutting out of the cold earth representing the blow that would have brought his end, had the match been life or death.

Afterward the girl stood back, looking down at her opponent with a reluctance that the boy could not understand. "Real swords are heavy, aren't they? Looks like you're still too weak, Zoro."

Upon hearing the girl's words, the boy sat up. Tears of rage and defeat ran down his cheeks and he swore. "Dammit! Dammit! Why did you always win? I trained so hard for this! I can't accept it!"

The girl's face became passive at his usage of the past tense. That had probably been her last battle. No one besides Zoro would ever challenge a woman, and she was quickly becoming that. She knew her freedom to train freely in the dojo anymore would be disappearing before long. Her father had not spelled it out directly to her, but it was clear that the length of rope that society had granted in acceptance of her using a sword had reached it's frayed end.

"I can't accept it either."

Zoro looked up at her as she continued, "As they grow, women become weaker than men. Soon you'll be stronger than me."

She turned away from the boy, and the full moon hovering near them. "Zoro, you always say that you will be the strongest swordsman in the world. I overheard my father say the other night that a woman can't do that." Her face dropped, her bangs shielding her eyes as she felt them tear up. "I knew it already. I do know it, but… I just can't accept it! I envy you for being a boy. I want more than anything to be the strongest kenpo fighter in the world!" Her voice dropped to a near whisper, "But I'm in puberty now… I wish I were a boy!" Her tears began to fall.

Zoro jumped up in a fury, "What are you talking about! All this 'women and men' talk, right after beating me 2001 times! You're my goal!"

The girl looked at him in surprise. "Zoro…" Before now, Zoro had acted like an infuriated boar all the time… speaking, but never actually saying anything…

Zoro only huffed more at her lack of a response. "Here I was almost fooled! This whole time you're just been pretending to be strong, then you resign yourself to some stupid fate with me never having defeated you! STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!"

He approached the girl and raised a hand between them. "Let's promise that one day, without fail, either you are I will be the strongest swordfighter in the world. Then we'll see which of us is really stronger!"

And for the first time in her life, Kuina was not just 'the girl'. She could be the strongest. No matter what anyone said. The one who had showed her that was the last person she had expected anything insightful to come from. "Baka. You say that when you're still so weak." And Kuina shook his hand. Two voices rang strong through the night.

"Yakusoku da!"

_It's a promise…_

----------

From her ever-changing position in the night sky, the moon poured her light through the window, bathing the hall with her pale, cold luminance. Now on her back, Kuina lay with her glazed eyes fixed in the source's direction.

_Today… was the first time that I was really me. I'm not just a nameless girl who will grow to be a woman. I am Kuina. Even if the world will never know me as anything more, I am Kuina. If today hadn't happened, I might never have seen that. If he hadn't challenged me, if he hadn't _seen _me… really _seen _me… then I wouldn't have seen me. He made me more than I was… or maybe he just made me who I was all along. Kuina, samurai._

_We promised each other… that we would be the best. I won't ever forget that he did that. Why he did that. He was the only one who ever really saw me. The next time I see him, I'll tell him that. I want him to know that, the next time I…_

--------

Drawn by the sound of something falling, Kuina's father stepped around the corner. "Kuina?"

But she did not hear his voice. The sounds of life she so had so desperately wanted to hear had left her behind. Moonlight flowed through the hall in a flood of ghostly day. Its constant source drifted mockingly though the sky. Her light affected everyone it touched. Shining in her fullness and brightness, she looked like you could reach out and touch her. But so now so far away, she was cold to the world's pleas. She drifted like a dream through the world of night; a constant light, forever out of reach. And it was silent.


End file.
